Finding Comfort and Healing in Unexpected Places

Grief is a complex and often overwhelming journey, filled with mixed emotions that can catch us by surprise. Recently, I've found myself reflecting on the belongings of my sister, who I miss dearly. Mental illness has driven her miles away from me to the opposite end of the country, and I still have many of her personal effects. Among her things, I discovered surprisingly relevant items to my career that she would have never had use for, or utilized. This discovery has stirred a mix of emotions within me. She always had a knack for surprising me with things I wanted, or she knew I needed.

On one hand, using her belongings feels like a way to keep her close, to honor her memory by letting her support me in my journey. On the other, I grapple with an irrational fear that she might return, upset that I've used her things. It's a conflict that doesn't entirely make sense, but grief feelings often defy logic.

I’m learning that these emotions are part of the healing process. It’s okay to feel joy and sorrow, hope and fear, all at once. Grieving is not about moving on or forgetting; it’s about finding a way to move forward while keeping their memory alive. Using my sister’s items to build my career feels like a way to do just that.

If you are on a similar journey of grief, know that it’s okay to have mixed emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate loss. You may find comfort in unexpected places or feel a sense of closeness to your loved one through items they left behind, and that’s perfectly valid.

For me, using my sister’s belongings has brought a sense of peace, as though she’s still here, cheering me on from a different plane. It has reminded me that the love we shared continues, even if she’s no longer physically present. Grief isn’t about forgetting; it’s about finding a way to keep moving forward while carrying your loved ones with you.

Another unexpected source of comfort has been my new puppy, Sebastian. Having him in my life has brought me moments of joy, but it has also been a challenge as I adjust to caring for a young, energetic Husky. His presence reminds me of my sister in a way—how someone or something new can bring both joy and stress, yet ultimately become a source of love and companionship.

Oddly, having Sebastian has me wondering if his gift in my life is to fill a gap that is to come or that is already there. As he fills my days and nights with learning to care for him, does that mean he is pushing out of my life the hope of ever seeing my sister again with she and I sharing good times again?

Dealing with a puppy like Sebastian, especially during the emotional rollercoaster of grief, has taught me patience and helped me focus on the present. Even when I feel overwhelmed, his playful energy reminds me that life continues to offer new opportunities for love and connection. In those quiet moments when Sebastian finally settles down, I feel a sense of calm that helps me process my grief, one day at a time.

I encourage anyone experiencing loss to give yourself grace. Lean into the memories, embrace the love you still feel, and let those emotions guide you toward healing. Whether through a cherished item or a new companion, we can find peace in the most unexpected places.